New Tricks is an Old Dog

Firstly let us deal with the premise of the series. A team of retired detectives are brought back on the payroll to help Amanda Redmond solve Unsolved and Open cases. They are stuck in a basement and just allowed to get on with things, except for when the notional commander decides to play at bossman. Ludicrous would be a kind description of the idea but it keeps getting commissioned and is shown on the BBC's flagship channel at prime viewing time, so what the hell do I know about television.

Secondly, the cast of 'respected' character actors is without doubt second only to the cast of 'Last of the Summer wine' in the collective psyche and affections of the British public. Dennis Waterman plays Dennis Waterman, James Bolam is grumpy guts and Alun Armstrong, in what appears to be a clumsy attempt to take advantage of the mans ability to act his way out of a paperbag is given the 'psychologically damaged' role...with a spot of OCD thrown in for light relief. The crew is led by the talented and rather beautiful Amanda Redmond, who as a WOMAN has had to fight for the respect of these curmudgeonly and prehistoric old coppers (And if that isn't a direct quote from the pitch, I'm a Dutchman)...Of course there is also the politically motivated young boss, who is constantly pushing for 'results' and 'efficiency' but who in the end comes to realise that maybe these old dogs can be useful.

Thursday's episode featured Brian (Armstrong) entering a clinic for the treatment of his alchoholism and discovering a nine year old murder (as you do). By the way, the set-up and pay-off for this discovery was as clunky bit of writing as I have ever had to watch...To see Richard Wilson 'let something slip' and try to cover it up again was almost embarrassing. After discovering that the victim was the father of the female sex therapists child, whom she had named after her lovers brother (mmmm...credibility stretched and broken with this little bit of exposition)blah blah blah..bad guy caught, led away in handcuffs etc etc.

Frankly this show is unforgivable. The plots are obvious and ridden with coincidence. The direction is straight from the 1970's, and none of the actors look as though they really care very much and who can blame them when you listen to the dialogue they are asked to deliver.